Ever since I was young, I've had trouble falling asleep.

No matter what I did, I would always find myself lying restless — staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

My thoughts would keep wandering to upcoming stressful events or regretful past mistakes. The things I could be doing or the work I hadn't got done.

It seemed like no matter what I did, Exercise, Supplements, Light exposure — my mind would just never calm down.

I would always keep clinging to wakefulness. To the problems I hadn’t solved during the day and to the troubles awaiting me the next.

What I didn’t realize was that by trying to hold onto it — I lost it. By clinging to the day, I ironically rejected the very thing that made it possible.

By being stressed and anxious about the day to come, I was never able to drop into the restorative slumber that would allow me to deal with it.

My concern for life didn’t make it better — it only made it worse.

And even though I was meticulous about my caffeine intake, sunlight, exercise and sleep environment...

The problem wasn't my lack of supplements.

It was my inability to let go.

Life Slips When You Try To Grab It

Sleep isn't something you do, it's something that happens to you.

You can pop every supplement known to man, stare at the morning sun for hours and avoid caffeine like the plague.

But if you never let it happen, you'll still lay twisting and turning.

And by never letting go of the troubles of wakefulness, you prevent the only thing that will allow you to deal with them.

When you lie in bed, stressing about daily life — you ironically make the situation worse:

• Your mind loses power and your productivity suffers

• You lose creativity to solve the problems making you anxious

• The motivation to take charge of life becomes a scarce resource

You go through the day on low power mode — never feeling like you're quite there. But when the night finally comes, you lay tossing and turning thinking about how little you got done and the mountain of tasks awaiting you tomorrow.

You can start to see the vicious circle forming.

Your day sucks because your lack of sleep prevents you to deal with it. Your sleep sucks because your obsession with wakefulness prevents you from falling into it.

You end up in a state where you're not fully awake and not fully asleep. Life loses its vibrance and turns into a monotonous tone.

All because you refused to let go of the day.

To answer the question floating through your mind; yes, light, diet and supplements will help. But if you're never able to let go of the day, of wakefulness, of life — your sleep will always suffer.

Because of the simple fact that you’re trying to force it. You take a wakeful attitude towards it. But because sleep is the opposite of being awake — trying to knock yourself will only make you lie awake longer.

You’re trying to sleep in order to be awake, which only perpetuates the state of wakefulness (which eventually diminishes both sleep and wakefulness).

Even though supplements, light and exercise will improve your chances of falling asleep — they can’t make sleep happen to you.

In other words, you can’t lie down and just tell yourself to go to sleep.

Whether it is through your red light therapy, blue light blockers or supplements.

You can't make something happen to you. You can only let it happen to you.

And to the degree that you try to make something happen to you, you also prevent it from doing just that.

By trying to go to sleep without letting go of wakefulness, you're rejecting sleep. And in doing so, you're rejecting wakefulness as well.

Because your day is only as bright as your night is dark.

And without the highs and lows, the music doesn't exist.

Same goes for your life.

Creating Something Out Of Nothing

You can't breathe in without first breathing out.

The experience of wakefulness is only possible by letting go of it completely during the night.

And it’s only as good as the degree of your surrendering of it.

Let me paint you a picture.

Sleep isn’t binary, the quality can be high or low. Studies show that people with anxiety not only have trouble falling asleep, but the sleep they do get is also of worse quality. As a result, the quality of their day suffers and the spiral continues.

As much as preparing for sleep helps, it can’t make you let go. And that is the only way you’re ever gonna get the deepest sleep possible.

And what’s funny is that the more you let go of the day, the more it comes back to you:

• REM sleep fuels your creativity, allowing you to solve the problems that were making you anxious

• NREM sleep structures your mind, allowing you to work at your fullest capacity while you’re awake

• REM sleep frees your mind from stress hormones, regulating your emotions & allowing you to actually deal with the day

The more you cling to wakefulness — the more you lose it. But the more you let go of it — the more it goes back to you.

When you surrender your anxious thoughts and accept that you’ll be okay no matter what — you can get the fullest benefits of sleep.

• Your recharged mind allows you to actually deal with the day

• Your regained motivation and energy propels you into meaningful & effective work

• Your fully recovered body allows you to set new PRs and build your health to your potential

You remove the limit of what you can achieve while awake, because the deeper you fall during sleep — the higher you can rise during wakefulness.

It’s like when you’re breathing If you try to hold onto your breathe, you lose it. But if you let go of it, it returns to you. And you can only take that deep and powerful inhale after having fully let go of the air in your lungs.

The art of sleep is really the art of letting go.

If you know someone who can fall asleep in an instant, this is why. They are able to let go of the day, wakefulness and even their lives at the drop of a hat.

Case study: My dad can drink 2 espressos at 9 pm and still fall asleep without problems.

But the more ambitious or prone to negative feelings you are, the more you’ll naturally cling to to the day.

You’ll either be hung up on the fact that you could be doing more, or stuck imagining every single thing that could go wrong the coming day.

But those who want the most out of life — are the ones who need to let it go the most.

Because as we went over, your day is only as bright as your night is dark. The polarity that they both create is your experience of life. And so to make the most out of the day, you have to be willing to let it go during the night.

You have to be willing to let go and trust the Universe. To close your eyes, and trust that your nervous system will wake you up in the morning.

And all spiritual talk about letting go is very interesting, but what does it all come down to?

Well, accepting your own death.

Sleep Is The Art Of Dying

For the you of tomorrow to rise, the you of today has to die.

But if you don’t let it, if you cling to the day in the forms of anxiety, stress and dread…

You prevent the you of tomorrow from living out your potential. And day and night turns into a blur of misery and mediocrity.

Why do you cling to the day?

Why do you lie anxious and stressed about wakefulness, when sleep is what allows you to deal with it?

To put it simply, because you fear death.

Because anxiety and stress are just manifestations of the same emotion — fear. And if you follow fear deep enough, you’ll always arrive at the fear of death.

And so to truly fall asleep, you need to let go not just of wakefulness, but of life itself.

This is the deeper reason why you lie stressed in bed — you’re afraid of the dark.

You fear that if you close you’re eyes — you’ll never open them again.

Even if you think you don’t, this is what you mind believes deep down. And it’s what blocks you from truly falling asleep. But it is also what’s blocking you from truly waking up.

Because one cannot exist without the other. To reject one, to fear one is to fear the other. You just end up diminishing both. Which is not a good thing (if you care about life).

But by understanding that both wakefulness and sleep are two sides of the same coin, you can accept both as one. You can fall asleep, completely letting go of the day because you know that they are inseparable.

This is exactly the case with life and death.

Life can’t exist without death. Because you wouldn’t know what life was if there wasn’t the contrast of death.

But in the same way, death can’t exist without life.

So there is no reason to fear it.

And by accepting both as part of the same dance with destiny — you can begin to truly live.

As Socrates put it; the proper practice of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead.”

This isn’t to say it’s easy. It’s something humans have struggled with ever since our discovery of the future. But death being such a central part of life, many practices have developed as a consequence.

Practices that can make us accept death and in so doing, make us more alive.

To learn how to sleep, you need to accept death.

And even though there is no magic pill for that, I couldn’t resist but to add a list of the most powerful sleep supplements that will make it a lot easier to drift of.

But remember that it always comes down to you.

So without further we do, let’s dive in!

Memento Mori

Death is a part of life.

When we forget this, all sorts of funny things start to happen.

We ignore what we should be doing, we give into excuses and live a life below our potential.

We stop accepting what is and start clinging to the safe little narrative we’ve created for ourselves.

Throughout history, many philosophies, religions and schools of thought have created methods to prevent this. To remember that you’re going to die, to memento mori.

The stoics would sit down everyday and meditate on their death.

The samurai would imagine their bodies being ripped to pieces, and being thrown into great fires.

So what does this practice involve?

To put it simply:

1. Remember that you’re going to die

2. Practice acceptance and being okay with it

Before you try to drift off, lay in bed imagining what it would be like to go to sleep and never wake up.

If you do it sincerely and for long enough, a sense of gratitude will wash over you.

The world around you will all of a sudden start to feel more alive.

When you then surrender to the fact that you will die. You ironically become more alive. You start appreciating life. And your fear of death starts to subside.

The key is to always remind yourself of this. Because your mind is tricky and will quickly forget the true nature of the Universe.

To keep this in mind, a lot of people use reminders such as coins, notes or jewelry. But a simple reminder on your phone does the trick.

Do this right now: Go onto your phone, and create a reminder called ”memento mori”.

You need to keep reminding yourself of it, because if you don’t, you’ll forget. And if you forget, life will become dull, your sleep will suffer and you won’t fulfill your obligation to yourself of living to your potential.

It might take some time, but be patient.

Think about death:

• When you wake up

• When you’re in the shower

• When you’re stuck in traffic

• When you’re in a petty argument

• When you witness the most beautiful of sights

And you will slowly but surely, master the art of sleep.

The art of dying.

In Buddhist thought, everything is transient. Nothing is permanent. And it is only by letting go of your attachment to the world that you can begin appreciating it and stop suffering because of your urge to control it.

In exactly the same way, by accepting that the day is past and that it may not come again — you can fall asleep and funnily enough increase the chances that it will.

Remember that you are going to die.

It will set you free.

The Free Roaming Mind

When you cling to the day, you are trying to control your mind.

You think that you really ought to think about this or that.

But it won’t help. It will just make it worse.

As we’ve gone over, by not letting go of the wakefulness, you’re rejecting the only thing that makes it possible.

So when you go to bed, don’t try to force your mind to complete tasks. Let it run free.

Don’t judge your thoughts, just let them happen:

- If your mind wants to think about that girl you saw, let it.

- If your mind wants to think about some silly TV show, let it.

- If your mind wants to conjure up some imaginary scenario, let it.

And if starts to cling too much to one thought, gently nudge it in another direction.

This is also known as the 1st level of meditation…

And it’s amazing for learning how to let go.

The Esoteric Sleep Stack

No supplement in the world will allow you to accept death.

But by manipulating your brain chemistry — you can move yourself closer to the point go letting go.

But before we shoot them all off, you need to understand a little brain chemistry:

• GABA - An amino acid in the brain that inhibits the activity of your neurons — calming you down.

• Serotonin - The well being molecule. It’s what creates the feeling of security, relaxation and enoughness.

• Glutamate - The opposite of GABA. It increases the activity of your neurons — making you alert.

• Cortisol - The stress hormone. This is what your brain is bathing in when you’re stressed or anxious

• The HPA axis - The hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis is responsible for the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.

• BBB - The ”blood-brain-barrier” acts like a protective fence guarding the brain from chemicals rushing around in the blood stream. Only a select few chemicals are allowed to pass through it to maintain the integrity of the brain.

Congratulations, you’re now 2 % smarter!

And with that, let’s list off the most powerful sleep supplements.

1. Herbs

Herbs have been used throughout all of human history to promote well being.

And they’re still used today (especially in the east).

When it comes to sleep, the ones that peek our interests are adaptogens.

To put it simply, adaptogens are plant compounds that increase your tolerance to negative factors like stress and diseases (they make you more adaptable).

Think of it as making your brain stronger.

When it comes to falling asleep and being able to let go, these come in handy because they make you more tolerable to anxiety and stress.

You become able to let go of negative thoughts, feelings and the day as a whole. And finally, drop into that well needed slumber.

Here are the most potent ones, rapid fire style:

• Ginger - Reduces the breakdown of GABA and increases the synthesis of it. It does this by acting on the glutamate / GABA metabolism.

• Apigenin - Increases serotonin by inhibiting monoamine oxidase which is responsible for decomposing serotonin. As a result, the amount of serotonin in your brain increases.

• Lavender - Inhibits SERT and increases serotonin as a result. It also activates GABA receptors, increasing its effects and calming down your angsty neurons.

• Lemon balm - Blocks an enzyme responsible for the breakdown of GABA. And like many other of these herbs — increasing GABA.

• Valerian root - Once again, this little rascal increases GABA. It does so by stimulating the GABA network and inhibiting the its re-uptake.

• Passion flower - Alters the gene expression of enzymes responsible for GABA and serotonin breakdown — which increases both GABA and serotonin. Muy bueno.

• Ashwagandha - Works directly on the HPA axis and as a result, lowers cortisol allowing you to calm down. It also indirectly increases testosterone, creating a sense of ”security”.

Where to get it and how to use it:

• Ginger, Lavender, Passion flower, Valerian root and Lemon balm is often found in herbal tea blends. You can most probably get them at your local grocery store. Just drink the tea 2 hours before bed. If you want to increase the potency of these, you can get higher amounts in supplement form.

• Apigenin is the active ingredient in chamomile tea, but you can also get it in supplement form.

• Ashwagandha is the most powerful of these herbs, but you should be careful of long term use. Inhibiting cortisol for extensive periods of time may be detrimental to your health. Aim for cycles of 6 - 8 weeks followed by 2 - 4 week breaks. Pop 300 - 600 mg before sleep and life will become calmer.

2. Supplements

Supplements have a more western feel to them.

They have less trust in nature and put more of their faith in science instead.

But to reject them because they’re not ”natural” is just silly. There are thousands of ”natural” herbs that are directly poisonous to us. "Natural” doesn’t necessarily mean ”good”.

And in your perceived morally right objection, you also miss out on all the incredible benefits. You settle for your subpar brain function while the people around you run laps about you.

Most supplements are also derived from natural compounds. So where does the line between natural and unnatural really go?

My take on it is this; if you’re okay with drinking coffee or taking aspirin — you shouldn’t reject supplements because you want to only follow nature.

But with that out of the way, let’s dive in:

• L - Theanine - A wonderful little molecule that puts your GABA production on overdrive. It also boosts serotonin and dopamine.

• Magnesium  Threonate - A special kind of magnesium capable of crossing the BBB and increasing magnesium levels in the brain. This blunts the effects of glutamate and increases levels of GABA. It also acts on the HPA axis, reducing levels of stress and anxiety.

• Glycine - A naturally occurring amino acid in your brain that stimulates the creation of serotonin.

Where to get it and how to use it:

• L Theanine is found in green and white tea. But to reach sufficient levels, you’ll need to drink around 6 cups. And if you want to get all the other benefits from it, you will probably need to go as high as 1 gram. For reference, one cup of white tea contains around: 50 grams. Another point is that tea contains caffeine that messes up your NREM sleep + drinking water before bed will make you wake up needing to pee. No bueno. My recommendation: get it in supplement form.

• Magnesium Threonate is not found naturally in any compound and has to be taken in supplement form. 125 mg is an adequate dose for reference.

• Glycine is naturally produced by the body and also found in red meat. But to reach sufficient levels, you’ll need to eat around 200 grams of steak before bed. Which I wouldn’t recommend because digesting food messes up your sleep quality. So just get it in supplement form. 3 g is an adequate dose.

To Live Is To Die

To breathe in, you have to first breathe out.

To wake up, you have to first fall asleep.

To live, you first have to die.

Sleep is the art of dying — of letting go.

Only by not clinging to being awake, can you actually maintain it.

Only by letting everything about wakefulness and life go, can you die and be reborn the next day.

Supplements can and will help, but at the end of the day — it’s always you who make the final decision to let go. To fall into that dark abyss knowing, that it is an essential part of the light.

So when the night comes, close you’re eyes and trust your nervous system to wake you up in the morning.

Because the more you stop trying to make tomorrow happen, the bigger the chance that it will.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this letter.

Subscribe to the newsletter if you don’t want to miss out on esoteric guides for health and life.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your week!

-